Filed under: Top 10 Lists | Tags: Bill O' Reilly, Fox, Jeremy Glick, Squid-Rapist
Here’s another pair of gigantic douche’s from the world of television.
8. Bill O’Reilly
Nowhere to be found on British T.V, however this braindead bigot is plastered all over the screens stateside, with “The O’Reilly Factor” raking in 3.5 million viewers a night. It’s also the top watched news show in America. Bad Times. Right wing political commentator O’ Reilly is renowned for his “traditional” values and has had feuds with the following, (deep breath), George Clooney, Eminem, Snoop Dogg, Cam’ron, David Letterman, Ludacris, Jessica Alba, Richard Dawkins, Nas and Mark Cuban. If you can get David Letterman, Richard Dawkins and Eminem to similtanously hate you, you must a be prize cockrocket. The main gripe here comes from his obvious (verging on extreme) conservative political bias, despite Fox news network claiming to be a “spin-free zone”. Another gripe is his insistance on shouting down any guest who has a point. Take his interview with Jeremy Glick, a guy who’s Dad had been killed in the 9/11 attacks, it actually makes my blood boil, O’ Reilly’s only excuse MUST be that he’s a complete and utter Squid-Rapist, he’s the personification of a Japanese war crime, he’s a PRIIIICKKKK!
7. Piers Morgan
I’m gonna keep this short and sweet, he’s a judge on Britain’s got Talent, and manages to make Simon Cowell look relatively slime-free. To be honest I don’t know that much about the guy, it’s just whenever I see him I can’t help but be repulsed, and let me explain. The other day I saw a nature documentary showling life in a cave in Borneo, where there happened to be these creatures/vast colonies of bacteria aptly named “Snotties”, they basically looked like gigantic, pale green stalactites of snot, swaying in the breeze. And these were stalectites of snot that drip sulphuric fucking acid, all in all, horrenduously disgusting things. Not so strange as it was then, as soon as I’d layed eyes on them, the image of Piers Morgan flashed in my head! The feeling I got looking at these horrible things was almost exactly the same feeling I get when I inadvertedly lay eyes on Morgan. The slimey, smarmy, slithery, snotty cunt.
This is a little piece devoted to the swines of the silver screen, the bastards of the box and the tossers of T.V. This is The Bauwss’s lowdown on T.V’s most agravating, annoying and downright cuntish TV persona’s.
10: Ant & Dec.
These two “Geordie Lads” play host to a number of shit primetime TV shows, ranging from “Britain’s got Mental Problems” to “Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Wankaway”, not to mention “I’m A Celebrity….Get Me A Shrink!”. The problem is not so much themselves as individuals, (although i’m sure thier both spectacular pricks in private), but the soul sapping, blandy-grey-beige type of “entertainment” they embody. Whether it’s Ant chortling like a World of Warcraft hypergeek at some mildy amusing cretin on “Britains Got Talent”, or Dec smarmily…jus smarmily standing there (I don’t actually have that many bad words about Dec, but he’s guilty by association), they serve as the tasteless icing to ITV’s really crappy cake. The pricks.
9: Jeremy Kyle
Ok, lemmie start by outlining the premise of his show. It’s like mundane, bleak and joyless version of Jerry Springer. The main difference is that whilst Springer is at least likeable, Kyle, on the other hand, is an absolute fucktard. He brings on his “guests”, some of which look like they’ve been the product of rabid inbreeding in Chernobyl for the last 23 years. He then lets the guests say thier piece about how thier partner always cheats on them or beats them up in cider-fueled frenzy,waits for the partner/pantomine villain to come out, and then proceeds to verbally castigate them before they can get a word out, infront of a live audience. What happened to innocent until proven guilty? Well for somebody who’s been accused of stealing from his own wife to fund a “destructive” gambling habit, it’s a bit rich. Nevertheless, he often reveals himself to be a collosal cunt irrespective of the skeletons in his closet, shouting down hobos and pikeys to get a moral kick whilst offering them help from “Graham the Psycologist” mere seconds after telling them thier effectively no good pieces of shit. Kyle is to daytime TV what George W Bush is to Americans. And thats BauwssTalk.
